Lawyer Needed

There was a young couple very much in love.

On the night before they were to be married, both were killed in an automobile accident.

They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter.

After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, "St. Peter, my fiancee and I are very happy to be in heaven,
but we miss very much the opportunity to have our wedding vows celebrated.

Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?"

St. Peter looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, I've never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married.

I'm afraid you'll have to talk to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an appointment in two weeks from Wednesday."

Come the appointed day, the couple was escorted by the guardian angels into the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where they repeated the request.

The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, "I tell you what; wait a year and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again."

A year went by and the couple, still very much wanting to get married, came back.

Again, the Lord God Almighty said, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you must wait another year, and then I will consider your request."
This happened year after year, for ten years.

Each time they reasserted their yearning to be married; each time God put them off for another year.

In the tenth year, they came before they Lord God Almighty to ask again.

This time the Lord answered, "Yes, you may marry! This Saturday at 2:00 p.m.

We will have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The reception will be on me!"
The wedding went off without a hitch. The bride looked beautiful.

The Buddha did the flower arrangements for which Moses wove simple yet elegant baskets. Jesus prepared the fish course. All of heaven's denizens attended, and a good time was had by all.
Tragically, but perhaps inevitably, within a few weeks, the newlyweds realized that they had made a horrible mistake. They simply couldn't stay married to one another. So they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty.

Groveling and frightened, they asked if they could get a divorce.

The Lord heard their request, looked at them, and said, "Look, it took us TEN YEARS to find a priest up here in heaven.

Do you have any idea how long it'll take us to find a lawyer?"

....the same couple a few years down the line....

An elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV and the other hand on the part of your body that ails you, and I will heal you."

The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television and the other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and the other hand on his groin.

With a frown, his wife says, "Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead."

Perfect I may use that joke if you don't mind

A little different topic.

Too funny!!

micjer wrote:

Perfect I may use that joke if you don't mind

go for it

Ahhh Dave Allen, always had it on the nose

Great video clip, thanks. I remember when he was on t.v. I must be older than Eve