it is hard to explain ... but you know me, i'll give it a go ...
i feel the best way to the answer is by painting a picture
and drawing the comparison ... after i am done, i hope some of
you feel inclined to compare, also .... here goes:
***
let's spin the wheel to determine the "yesterday"
drum roll, plz
***
november, 2008, my personal "tipping point"
***
i had begun to awaken and was doing research on many topics
at every available opportunity, sucking up info like a sponge, i
couldn't get enough, quickly enough ... my head was spinning
***
i was workin for the ex, sis was living with me but brought
in very little $ to the bargain ...
consequently, i was supportin us both and felt like i was
hemorrhaging money just to keep us both treading water ...
***
i would go to the wine warehouse and notice the chemtrails
in the morning sky ... i would sometimes tell folks "watch, they
will be around till noon, and spread, and there's something
very weird going on" but they thought i was nuts ... even when
i took pics of u-turns in the sky and odd-shaped rainbow effects,
no one believed me ...
***
meanwhile, the homeless in our neighborhood, in
our back yard occasionally, were restless because of the
rain and cold coming on, their own increasing numbers
vying for whatever little was available, there was even a man
i felt was dying sleeping in his car parked across the street
from our front door ... i went to the neighborhood church
and they said there was nuthin they could do, which made
me feel infuriated, again, at the whole church hypocrisy thing ...
***
at the same time, i showed up for a court date which a ccard
(chase) brought against me - i was ready to tell the judge my
unique circumstances, perhaps work something out, but when
i looked at the court calendar posted outside the courtroom
and the case was already decided in favor of the plaintiff
because i did not provide a letter by a certain date ... i missed
the fine print, you see, i only scanned the sheaf of papers
i was served with and prepared myself to simply "tell it
to the judge" - alas, i never got that chance because i made
a bad decision when i neglected to fully inform my self ... however,
my feeling that the system is rigged in favor of the corporate guy
over the little guy was confirmed - again
***
then there was the whole drama concerning my meth-mommy
sister and her daughter, my young niece, all tangled up with
child protective services and jail and warrants and crap ...
this is when i paid for a private detective to try and gather info
for the court so they would not return the 6 yr old to a bad
situation ... the family court judge and the lawyers in court
admonished us, the aunts, for burdening the court with
paperwork (!?! didn't they invent paperwork!?!) saying
they had been "inundated" with faxes as if we were a nuisance
instead of fighting for that child's life (and soul) - needless to say,
i felt pounded into the ground, helpless, powerless, ineffective ....
***
it became increasingly clear to me that some thing(s) had to change ...
but what could i do? anyway, that's what was going on, and it is
interesting to contrast it with today ...
***
to be cont'd
Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:15 am
, 
. 